You left out:

Flailing wildly with your pants around your ankles as you stood up from the toilet only to realize you had no sensation or motor control below your upper thighs, then proceeding rapidly toward the floor as you belatedly realize that the toilet paper holder is not, in point of fact, intended to support any weight greater than a roll of TP, of which your body is in excess by several orders of magnitude.

Otherwise yes, excellent summation, Mary.