Word of caution: this is from the POV of CIS-hetero white guy in his 60s, upper-middle income, very happily married.

Love is an experience.

Total agreement, Srinath! However… sometimes love is more of a “Oooh, look at the pretty sunset experience!” and sometimes it’s “WELCOME TO THE THUNDERDOME! TWO COME IN, ONE GOES OUT!” Because some people are a**holes.

Or sometimes love is a pretty meadow experience, with flowers and birds and grass; and sometimes love is a pretty meadow experience, with flowers and birds and grass and landmines that blow off your foot and leave you crawling for the edge. Because sometimes everybody means well but sh*t happens.

There are no winners and losers in love.

Mmmmm. I agree love is not a zero-sum game (where somebody has to win, somebody has to lose) because both parties can win (my current marriage, 20+ years and counting), both can lose (first marriage, which did not work out like we thought it would because my first wife realized she was gay, not bi), or one party can be blind-side-tackled by the other when he thought they were playing badminton, not American football (my relationship in-between marriages, and you better believe there was a winner and a loser).

BUT! I also believe if both parties are playing fair that love is an experience, with both parties (or all parties!) learning and developing, especially early on in a person’s life. So while I don’t agree 100% with you, Srinath, I applaud your sentiment and wish your vision matched my experience. 😊

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Husband & retiree. Developer, tech writer, & IT geek. I fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches. Occasionally do weird & goofy things.

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