What Danna Colman said, Sandy. We’re lucky in that our mother is mostly cheerful and engaged, even though she can’t quite recall a conversation from one sentence to the next. She keeps “busy” at her “job” (from which she retired years ago) and refers to coworkers she has chatted with around the “office” (she almost never leaves the house). My father, OTOH, has reverted to the self-centered putz I remember as a kid; my sister and I differ as to whether he’s suffering from early dementia or if he’s just an asshole with occasional memory lapses who enjoys pushing his kids’ buttons. My sister has powers-of-attorney for both of them, so they’re her problem.
I see what awful times folks like you and JB are going through, and I know we’re getting off very lightly. I hope you catch some breaks soon, you deserve them.