[trying to reply privately... hello? hello? Medium? is this thing on? hello?]

I am, indeed, brain damaged, Mary. It's what got me out of Navy nuclear submarines — the doctors said I was fine in non-stressful situations, and "stressful" is just Tuesday on a nuke sub. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

The train crash is phony, the nephew is real. And the little guy was the most empathic 5-year-old I've ever met (and pretty awesome pushing 30, for that matter).