Thank God! I’d still be single otherwise.

Okay, I probably won’t express this properly, but — close your eyes…

Never mind, if you’re reading this paragraph you realized that won’t work with written words. Try again: visualize a vast, level plain. Nice lighting, even, comfortable. You can walk around without paying attention to where your feet go. You can close your eyes and walk as far as you want; up stays up, everything is level. No worries.

That’s me when I’m with my wife.

Now, same place, but! There are holes. Some are shallow, some are deep. Some are infinite. No patterns. There are black painted circles, but the light is bad so they look like holes. The ground slopes in some places. Or maybe it doesn’t, maybe you have just a touch of vertigo and you can’t really tell up from down like you used to. Going anywhere is… scary. Walking a mile. Walking a hundred feet. Walking two steps. Sit down, curl up, hold yourself tight, wait for it all to get better. Hope that it all gets better. Rock yourself gently and keep telling yourself it will all get better, it will it will it will.

That’s me without my wife.

Written by

Husband & retiree. Developer, tech writer, & IT geek. I fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches. Occasionally do weird & goofy things.

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