Ruby, I trust you are passing your article along to your kids (and any other young relatives) as it is excellent advice!

My wife Deb's first husband handled all the finances. Deb was fine with that. She married while in college, so she had no clues how independent living worked or how bills should be paid.

Turned out, neither did her husband.

When the marriage fell apart, it turned out the finances were a mess, the savings were nil, and Deb's credit and such were non-existent. It took her a long time to put everything back together.

In the 24+ years we've been together, we have a joint checking in my name that handles the bills, and a joint checking in her name that she uses for her expenses with the excess (as determined by her) going to a joint money market account. Either of us can get to any of the money if we need to, in case of emergency or disaster.

Every quarter I do a net worth report on how much money we have, and a spending report on where the money went.

We tried a budget when we retired at the end of 2019; COVID blew THAT out of the water in short order, and now we just kinda eyeball it. (Kids, don't try this unless you have a VERY good feel for where your money comes from and where it goes — having a budget is a Good Thing for most households.)

Side note: I read an article with a similar message but a different slant a few years ago—the female author referred to her hidden account as a "f*ck-off fund" because it allowed her to tell her spouse or partner to f*ck off when things got rough. 😁 I thought it was good advice then, too!