Practical Joke in the Grocery Store

God has a strange sense of humor. But some of you probably knew that already.

So we’re shopping at the grocery store, and I see box after bundle after bag after bag of things like this:

Gluten free this. Gluten free that. Vitamins (gluten free!). Cough syrup (gluten free!). Give me a break! So I make a smartass remark to my wife that somewhere somebody has got a whole bunch of gluten saved up and ready to put on the market.

And then, because God has the sense of humor of a 12-year-old*, I immediately run into this:

And thus God spake: “I’ll see your sense of irony, boy, and raise you an actual product. Your silly imagination ain’t got nuthin’ on the One who made the platypus!”

Anybody checked out the nutrition information on gluten? The stuff is like, almost pure protein! And it’s good for bread and stuff, of course (assuming you don’t have anyone in the house with an allergy, and we don’t). So what the hell, I buy some and try it in some bran muffins I’m baking.


I mean… Damn. These are some great freakin’ muffins! Good texture, light, hold together well, and no change in the flavor. Damn!

Anybody want to send me any gluten they’re not using, I’m happy to stock up!

Just don’t mention it to Anybody, I’d never hear the end of it.

*I made a remark similar to this in front of a coworker, then remembered he’s very serious about his religion. I apologized, but he said, “No, you’re right! Look at Sarah — old, barren, had to watch her husband get another woman pregnant just to get him an heir. Then suddenly pow! She’s pregnant. Definitely some juvenile humor at work.”

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Husband & retiree. Developer, tech writer, & IT geek. I fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches. Occasionally do weird & goofy things.

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