My first boss when I worked at Navy Recruiting Command said she liked to wear sexy lingerie. (Our little office had four people, including my boss; all but me were women. My previous assignment was on an all-male submarine, this being the mid-1980s. Conversations regularly drifted into topics that would be considered inappropriate for a work environment these days.) But obviously not while in uniform, I blithely offered — no no, especially while in uniform, she countered. Which she was wearing, of course.

I learned not to ask—or even open the floor to—questions for which I could not handle the answer.