My attempt was motivated by not wanting to kill anyone (except me, obviously). I kept making dumb mistakes on our sub. I mean, *DUMB* mistakes. Like, I order someone to open a valve (I was the officer in charge of a maintenance procedure) and suddenly Something Bad happens in the (shutdown but very active) nuclear plant. So… shut the valve, right? Only I couldn’t think of that (fortunately someone else did). Stuff like that. And the captain and my boss and the XO and everybody was trying to impress on me I needed to get my act together or someone was going to get killed. And they knew I could do this, because I’d been through training and passed — not an honors student, but the Navy doesn’t let just anyone through who’s going to be responsible for nuclear safety. But the harder I tried, the more I messed up. So screw it, if somebody is going to die, why not me? So I got a razor blade, a garbage bag (wasn’t going to leave a mess!), a quiet corner in engineering, and proceeded to start sawing on my wrists. Harder than I thought. And before I lost any appreciable amount of blood, the engineering duty officer interrupted me. [more later, if you’re interested]

Husband & retiree. Developer, tech writer, & IT geek. I fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches. Occasionally do weird & goofy things.

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