I’ve only been hit with this once. Last minute business trip, San Jose, CA, to DFW. Middle seat. When I took my seat, my large male copassenger was already in the window seat. While he had not raised the armrest, it was bent inward toward mine (airline seats, small *and* cheap!). He apologized, but what were our options? Raising the armrest never occurred to me; even jammed against the bulkhead, he would have flowed into half my seat, and I was not a small person.
When we were airborne and I dropped my tray table to use my laptop (ready to keep my right elbow at an awkward angle while I typed) I found it would not go all the way down because of my neighbor’s girth. So I read my book. We both took a pass on drinks & snacks.
Alas, I was not feeling so kind as you describe, Roz. I did not make a fuss, but I was very happy when we debarked.