I know what you mean, Rachel. I had this in my first marriage, maybe a month after the wedding. By that point I was stationed in Newport, RI, while my wife was in Guam (both Navy lieutenants at the time, we got married while I was transferring between duty stations). Just a sudden feeling like something had vanished in our spiritual connection. I wouldn’t have decribed it as “I just didn’t feel the feels I had felt before,” but there was something off. I chalked it up to my pessimistic nature… everything would be fine, we’d known each other for years, it was just being apart from her that was hard…

When I was able to get leave to see her for our first anniversary, everything was fine. Until she told me she’d been seeing someone else.*

It was maybe a year after that when I found out she’d started cheating on me a month or so after we got married.

You got your feels back with Micah. I got my reliable feelings of love with Deb. These things work out.

*Not what you are probably thinking. There’s more back story:

tl;dr: When I tell people about my first marriage, I explain, “We were too much alike. I was in the Navy; so was she. I’m the intellectual type; so is she. I like sex with women; so does she. Turns out, a successful marriage needs a little more difference than we had.” Second marriage doing much better! ;-)

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Husband & retiree. Developer, tech writer, & IT geek. I fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches. Occasionally do weird & goofy things.

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