How I Met Your Great-Aunt on Your Mother’s Side, Part 2
A little romantic family history, continued
Not quite eight years ago, I started a recollection of how I met Deb, my wonderful wife since February of 2000. I wanted to write it in a way that I could print it out and eventually show it to our great niece Mikaela, then a bit over a year old. I got through Part 1, which got us through the end of our first date, which was wonderful, in a very G-rated way.
And there it stayed, because I could not figure out how to handle our second date, which, um, was wonderful. Unless you cut out any not G-rated parts, in which case it was very boring and <cough> somewhat confusing.
But now Mikaela is almost nine, and she can read. So I should maybe get going on Part 2?
As it happened, Deb’s sister Nanci (Mikaela’s grandmother) was staying at our house for a week while she recovered from surgery. So she could give me feedback on what to include or not.
The solution to date #2? Skip it. Mikaela won’t notice. So I jumped to the preparation for the proposal and the proposal itself.
Nanci also had me edit out the morning after we got engaged. I thought it was a very cute moment, but— Nanci says that at age almost-nine, Mikaela will have no trouble figuring out that if two people wake up in bed together, they obviously were sleeping in bed together all night. (Um, well, not all night <cough> but um, yes, point taken.) I put that part back in for the Medium version (my family never reads my stuff unless I send them a free link, and possibly not then) for my adult readers.
Olabimpe Ogundolapo, if you still check Medium, I finally finished Part 2! Sorry for the wait, dear lady!
Our story picks up as I am taking Deb home after our first date:
I drove Deb back to her townhouse, parked in the street in front, and walked with her to her front door.
I smiled at her.
She smiled at me.
I leaned forward, she leaned forward, and we kissed. It was perfect. The perfect end to a perfect date with a perfect lady.
Then Deb went inside and I got back in my car and went home. Because we both had to go to work tomorrow and it was late.
When I got to work the next day, there was a message on my voicemail.
MACHINE: “Message One was received at 12:20 A.M. June 10th.”
That would have been a little while after I dropped her off at her townhouse.
DEB: “Hi, it’s me. Um, if I tell you that I had a truly wonderful evening, since you’re a math person, can I trust that you’ll blow that up exponentially? To get some sense of what I mean? Bye!”
That made me smile, obviously.
I still have that recording on my phone. You can probably figure out why.
I met your cousins Joelle and Jarid in early July. Joelle was eight, Jarid was five. We got along well, although Jarid did not always get my jokes (see, Mikaela, it is not just you!).
By this time it was September, however, so Joelle decided (since these old people were taking forever to get things done) that I needed encouragement. So a couple weeks before Deb & I were going to Illinois to meet my parents (and pick up my grandmother’s engagement ring, which Deb knew nothing about), Joelle cornered me and got in my face.
JOELLE: Are you going to ask Aunt Debbie to marry you?
ME: Well, honey, we have things to talk about, and I want her to meet my parents first, but —
JOELLE: Ask her now!
ME: Joelle, first I wa —
JOELLE: Ask her now!
ME: No, see, hon —
JOELLE: Ask her now!
Nine-year-olds are stubborn, because they know they’ll outlive you. Fine.
ME: Okay, we can have a rehearsal.
JOELLE: JARID! GET OVER HERE! WE’RE HAVING A REHEARSAL!
Jarid, at five, had no idea what a rehearsal was, but he loved his sister dearly so he came over and plopped himself next to her. Deb came over to see what was happening, and I explained we were having a rehearsal, purely for the benefit of her niece and nephew.
I got down on one knee in a dramatic fashion, took Deb’s hand, and said (yes, I’d been practicing already): “Will you be my friend, my companion, my partner, my lover, my future, my wife; for as long as you want me, for as long as you need me, for as long as we both shall live?”
I got a smile and a nod and maybe some glistening eyes from Deb.
I got silence from the studio audience. Huh? No applause? I look over and Joelle is puzzled. “Sooo…,” she says, “are you asking her to marry you?” Well, duh, I… wait… crap… no, I never actually asked that, did I?
Alright! Rehearsals, good for something after all!
We got engaged in my parents’ backyard. With my parents, my sister, brother-in-law Michael, and then two-month-old niece Hailey in attendance, I asked Deb to marry me. We followed the rehearsal we had already done, of course.
Well, sort of. I did not tell Deb exactly when the proposal would be, so it was sort of a surprise. Okay, she was totally surprised. So instead of telling me “Yes!” at the end, every time I paused she said, “YES!”
ME: Will you be my friend —
DEB: YES!
ME: my companion —
DEB: YES!
ME: my partner —
DEB: YES!
ME: my lover —
DEB: YES!
ME: my future —
DEB: YES!
ME: my wife —
DEB: YES!
ME: for as long as you want me —
DEB: YES!
ME: for as long as you need me —
DEB: YES!
ME: for as long as we both shall live?
DEB: YES!
ME: Will you marry me?
DEB: YES!
The important thing to note, however, is that she did say “Yes!”
The next morning I woke up and Deb was lying there, propped up on one arm, just looking at me. Not creepy at all. (Little bit creepy, maybe.) Many years later I asked my wonderful (albeit occasionally peculiar) wife:
ME: So what were you thinking when you were watching me like a crazed stalker?
DEB: I was thinking how happy I was. And how nice it was to be engaged again, when I never thought I would be. Well, I did know I would be, after the rehearsal, but still I didn’t know exactly when and it was nice. I was just happy, lying there and looking at you while you slept. Although remember what Michael told me later?
ME: Uhhh…
DEB: He said I should have streeeeetched out a little bit (stretches her arms) and then “accidentally” popped you in the head. “OH! I’m sorry! Did I awaken you?… Hi! I’m engaged!” (grins like a crazy lady)
THE END
Postscript
I printed Parts 1 & 2 in booklet form for Mikaela. I added an abbreviated dictionary of words with which she might have a problem (Nanci and Deb helped with suggestions), plus a fill-in-the-blank quiz.
Mikaela does not read for comprehension (in both Nanci’s and Deb’s opinion) so I thought a little check on how much she paid attention might be in order. (Yes, I used to be a teacher — why?) Just as a check to see who has been paying attention amongst my Medium readers (you need to read Part 1 to get all of these):
Quiz
When did Uncle Jack first meet Aunt Debbie?
What e̸x̸c̸u̸s̸e̸ perfectly valid reason did Uncle Jack use to ask Aunt Debbie out to lunch?
Which good friend did Uncle Jack ask for advice on asking out Aunt Debbie?
In what country was the flashlight made that Uncle Jack used while they were on their first date?
What was wrong with Aunt Debbie’s and Uncle Jack’s first kiss?
Who made Uncle Jack do a rehearsal for proposing to Aunt Debbie?
Blurbs
I added book blurbs on the back of the cover. Because that’s what you do, right?
How I Met Your Great-Aunt Debbie is an amazing story about a computer nerd, an executive administrative assistant, and how they met, fell in love, started dating, and decided to get married.
“This is simply awesome! I cannot believe that I actually lived through all this! Reading How I Met Your Great-Aunt Debbie brought back all the fun, excitement, and occasional heartburn after a large meal. Everyone in the family will want to read this!”
— Debra “Aunt Debbie” Herlocker
“I thought the pictures were nice. Especially the one with my kids.”
— Nanci “Mom-Mom” Caskey
