Hmmm. In our household, the conversation would be more like:

Jackster, have you seen my water bottle? It’s over by you, I think.

Me:

Have you tried looking up your butt? It might be there.

Deb (getting a pitiful look on her face):

It’s because of my big butt, isn’t it? There could be a water bottle. There could be a bunch. I COULD HAVE A STUPID CASE OF STUPID WATER BOTTLES UP MY BUTT BECAUSE I HAVE THIS BIG GINORMOUS BUTT, THAT’S WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO TELL ME, RIGHT?

Me (walking over with water bottle):

No, honey, I love your butt! It’s perfect!

Deb (giving me a quick kiss):

Thanks, Jackster, I would have walked over there to get it, I just wanted to check first.

I pick my battles (skirmishes, even) with my wife very carefully.

Written by

Husband & retiree. Developer, tech writer, & IT geek. I fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches. Occasionally do weird & goofy things.

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