First off, you don’t have “less followers”… you have fewer followers. (I can’t believe I had to be the first to say that. Never a grammar cop around when you need one!)

Second, what, you just grab a pint of ice cream at random? No no no, you grab B&J’s Chubby Hubby or fudge ripple (first wife’s fave) or mint chocolate chip (current wife’s) or some definite flavor that has meaning and emotional connection and real cream.

Third, just a pint? Not a (size that used to be a quart but strictly speaking isn’t when measured properly) of ice cream that has you groaning “well, THAT was stupid!” when you’re done?

Lastly, try pouring some liqueur (schnapps, brandy, whatever) into the ice cream as you’re eating your way through the package. [Wait… you dished out the ice cream? YOU DISHED OUT THE ICE CREAM?! You wanna think about that? … Yeah, okay, I knew you wouldn’t do something like that.]

Really lastly, if you think “sugar free ice cream, sure, I could eat that with no guilt,” see that little warning in the fine print, “excess consumption may have a laxative effect”? They are SO not kidding about that.

Written by

Husband & retiree. Developer, tech writer, & IT geek. I fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches. Occasionally do weird & goofy things.

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