Draft of the Toast for My Ex-Wife’s Wedding
My ex-wife, Linda, is getting married to Carol at the end of this month (the very end, so is that four years until the first anniversary?) and she invited me and Deb to attend the wedding. Linda and Deb only met once; neither of us have met Carol yet (trip bonus!) but we still think she’s wonderful (and not just because she takes good care of Linda, although that counts for a lot). My ex is a very wise woman, so she will probably not ask me to speak, but just in case, I thought I should line up a few words.
As many of you know, Linda and I were married in 1989 and filed for divorce in 1990. We were both in the Navy at the time, me in Newport, Linda in Guam and San Francisco, so we didn’t have much of a married life together — I actually spent more time living together as her ex-husband, out of her guest room, than we lived together as married — but we knew each other for years beforehand, and while it wasn’t always a smooth friendship, until I met Deb I considered Linda the best friend I ever had.
Linda taught me to be more sure about myself. She taught me to look at my flaws and laugh at them. She accepted me for being different and not always good at being a people, but still worth loving. She taught me how to save for the future, a habit that has paid off recently as Deb and I both enter retirement. She taught me to never, ever take a marriage for granted. I am a better husband now for the best friend and wife and ex-wife that she has been to me.
Linda actually asked if it was okay for her to keep the last name Herlocker when she got married again. Since she has, as of 17 January 2020, been a Herlocker longer than she had her birth name, that seemed like an easy answer, even if you don’t add in having a doctorate in education and retiring as a Navy commander. So I have no problem with Dr. Linda K. Herlocker, Ed.D, CDR, USNR (Ret.) being part of the family tree. Even though Facebook won’t let me add “ex-wife” as a family relation, for some dumb reason.
So here’s to Linda and Carol, and may they have many happy years filing their taxes together!
All of the above subject to revision after Deb reads it, of course!