Deb has mallards at the “lake” (it’s a pond, folks — and not even a big one) next to her building on campus. Some hang around all winter (the pond is aerated and rarely freezes completely) and are, um, odd. Such as, after a heavy rain, one of the males will lay claim to one of the “new ponds” (puddle, not even deep enough to come up to his ankles) and start advertising his real estate prowess with loud vocalizations. (“Yo, sweetheart, y’wanna check out da size a DIS pond, eh?”)