Conversation with My Wife (23)
The first step to recovery is admitting that you have a problem passing up the yarn aisle in the Michael’s store
We were having dinner with our friends, Nancy and Alex. Nancy has been guiding Deb through beginner’s crochet projects; Alex has been supportive of his wife, in the same way I’ve been supportive of mine (right, honey? Right?). After the meal, Deb and Nancy talked about crochet projects (Nancy brought source documentation) while Alex and I, in the manner of highly-supportive husbands everywhere, made smartass side remarks that were mostly ignored. At one point I questioned why someone would spend hours working with a needle and yarn to create something already for sale at Walmart.
NANCY: “The great thing about a tough crochet project is how wonderful you feel when it’s complete!”
DEB: “Maybe there are support groups for people who crochet too much? Or their families?”
ME: “Hi, my name is Jack…” <rest of the table: “Hi, Jack!”> “…and I have a crochet problem. But I am proud that I have just earned my six-month crochet-free badge, and I can gladly display it!” <pulling out imaginary button and showing to Alex> “You’ll notice I used a double half-stitch mixed with a half double-stitch, and did special curly thingies around the edge that I am very proud of, with slightly rounded corners.”
ALEX: <taking the imaginary badge from my hand> “And now we’re back to day one.”
Nod to Rocket Worley for his description of support meetings, which gave me the inspiration for the crochet-free badge bit.