I announce to my wife that I am leaving the room. Ten minutes later I actually depart, having performed several minor chores (exactly one involving Deb) as they occur to me while I walk across the room.
DEB: <calling out> “I’m sorry, honey!”
ME: <returning> “Why, honey?”
DEB: “Because I slowed you down when you wanted to be somewhere.”
ME: “Firstly, I’m going to take a shower. This is not time critical. Secondly, doing anything for you makes me happy. If you plunged a knife in my chest, my last thought would be that I had made you happy with my murder. And my second-to-last thought would be: ‘Arterial blood splatters! Honey, you know better than that!’”
DEB: <laughs> “So if I walk up to you with a knife, with my body wrapped in cellophane…”
ME: “I know I am about to make you happy and you won’t get caught! Double win!”