Clothing sizes for males are inconsistent, Judy (three different “34-waist” pants all have the same waist size, right? ’cause 34 inches is always 34 inches, yes? as opposed to too-tight, too-loose, and just-fits, which makes no sense because this is observable measurements, people, not Goldilocks and the Three Freakin’ Bears!), but OMG I have no idea how women put up with the misogynistic self-parody freak show that is female clothing sizes.

Pants are bad enough (hips and waist and inseam). But hey, let’s take dresses, hips + waist + bust, and give them ONE STUPID NUMBER that is not even consistent within a manufacturer, never mind between dress lines.

WHY ARE WOMEN NOT FIRE-BOMBING CLOTHING MANUFACTURERS? WHY IS THIS INSANITY OKAY?

(Sorry, I have a wife I love very much who could use some new clothes, but she’s afraid to go shopping because she comes home an emotional wreck, and an empty-handed one at that. And don’t even get me started on the clusterfrak that is bra shopping…)