Chat with Deb—Yes, More Catalogs

🎶 Christmas is coming/ The piles are getting tall… 🎶

Jack Herlocker
3 min readNov 18, 2022
Created by the author using DALL-E: “giant piles of catalogs on hardwood floor in impressionist style”

We are still going through all the catalogs we get in the mail. Yes, we amuse easily — shush!

DEB: I could do this t-shirt: “Sweet old lady? More like Battle Tested Warrior Queen!” Although the less-junior gals in the family prefer “Queenagers.”

ME: Lately I’ve felt like a lot of Boomer women fit that, honey. Or this one: “I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still totally fit into the earrings I wore in high school!”

DEB: I remember my high school earrings, Jackster; no thank you! Oh, here’s yours: “You think you can hurt my feelings? I used to hold the flashlight for my dad!” I remember your stories.

ME: While I’m trying to forget. Ha, for both of us: “I’m retired. You’re not. Have fun at work tomorrow!” Quite a few friends fit this.

DEB: More of us every year! Speaking of our work years: “In order to insult me, I must first value your opinion. Nice try though.” Nope, I don’t miss days in the office.

ME: You’re more a crochet person than a seamstress, Debster, but somehow I think you’ll relate: “If you see me with a seam ripper, now is not a good time.”

DEB: “Knitting is the new yoga.” Or crocheting. And I don’t have to worry about getting into a pose you’ll need to help me out of.

ME: Took me a second to get this one: “I bought a chicken from one website, and an egg from another. I’ll let you know…”

DEB: Does it matter if we subscribe to Amazon Prime? “An apron is just a cape on backwards.” In case there are meals that need rescuing?

ME: Okay, this is a company that sells Victorian era stuff, or facsimiles thereof. So they have three rings on this page, with hidden compartments that can “store secrets” or “solid fragrance” or “artifacts.” But what do they have as the title for each one? (pointing)

DEB: (reading) “Poison ring.”

ME: Because, what, their legal department was working from home when this went to press?

DEB: Everybody knows what that means, Jackster, it’s a sales thing.

ME: “Seriously, your honor, I had no idea my ring would come open as I was handing him that glass of whiskey!”

DEB: Moving on… this fits you: “Your chances of getting killed by a bunny are low, but never zero.” Remember that little guy who used to sit on the porch steps and glare at you?

ME: You always told me he just wanted to come in and be friends! Good thing I never opened the door when he was around. Ah, this fits with an post from Ann Litts.

ME: “I’m going to lie down under the Christmas tree. To remind my family that I’m a gift.” Think that will work?

DEB: You don’t have to lie under the tree for me, honey! (smooch)



Jack Herlocker

Husband & retiree. Developer, tech writer, & IT geek. I fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches. Occasionally do weird & goofy things.