Chat with Deb—Fall 2022 Catalogs

We’re gearing up for the holiday season already in Catalog Land? Where does the time go?

Jack Herlocker
3 min readOct 7, 2022
Image by author using DALL-E; “junk mail catalogs piled up on dining room table in painterly style”

Deb and I like to leaf through our catalogs during breakfast. We share things we find, especially the t-shirts and signs.

ME: “Life is soup and I’m a fork.” That sums up a lot for me.

DEB: “I won’t be impressed with technology until I can download food.” Any idea how they’re coming along with that, Jackster?

ME: Google is working on it, Facebook has announced it but won’t commit to a delivery date, Apple will roll it out after somebody else has it working but will actually make money on it. “Some people call me crazy. I prefer, ‘Happy with a Twist.’” Comments, Debster?

DEB: Love you LOTS, honey! “ADULTING ★☆☆☆☆ Would NOT recommend.” But since we’ve been retired…

Nerd humor, chemistry division

ME: “I can keep my mouth shut, but you can read the subtitles on my face.” Explains my ability to get along with people, y’think?

DEB: “My dream job would be driving the karma bus.” Wouldn’t even have to be part-time!

ME: “Do I regret it? YES! Would I do it again? Probably…” Who does that remind me of…?

DEB: Don’t mention her name, she might actually read this Chat. “My emotional support animal is a chicken. A four piece. With biscuit.” Wouldn’t even need the biscuit, some days.

ME: “I’m a social vegan. I avoid meet.” We know a lot of introverts who can relate.

DEB: “My book club motto: Read between the wines.” I have wondered about joining a book club…

ME: You’d be either, “Oh, that one’s good, I’ve read that!” or “I got to page 7 and decided I didn’t have enough years left to waste time with junk like this.” Okay, wait, look at this page. (shows Deb) It’s candles for spiritual meditations and the like.

DEB: With arcane symbols and stuff, so?

ME: (pointing) With LED candles? Somebody is missing the point.

DEB: Spiritualism can’t get modern? “My housekeeping style is best described as, There appears to have been a struggle.” Well, on laundry day, yes, but…

ME: “I don’t understand. But I also don’t care. So it all works out.” See, now that we’re retired there are so many great signs for work!

DEB: Speaking of which: “I’ve had my patience tested. I’m negative.” I think I do much better these days, don’t I, Jackster?

ME: Love you LOTS, honey!



Jack Herlocker

Husband & retiree. Developer, tech writer, & IT geek. I fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches. Occasionally do weird & goofy things.