Cash Is Freedom!
No no, seriously!
The waiter looked down at the piece of paper in his hand. “Um… I’m sorry, ma’am, what am I supposed to do with this?”
“It’s your tip!” the older lady replied with a chuckle in her voice. “Don’t worry, you earned it!”
“Ummmm… okay. What do I do with it?” The young man, no more than twenty years old, examined both sides of the slip of paper, intricately printed with fine lines and several colors.
“You spend it. It’s cash. It’s money. Y’know… money?” The woman was looking closely at the waiter’s face for signs of intellectual impairment.
“Oh! Yes! Duh! We studied this, I’m sorry, y’know how you just forget everything after the final? Okay. Wow! This is, like… hold on, it’s coming back to me… yes, this is ten dollars, right? Right! Oh wow, I’ll have to show this to my boyfriend, I bet he’s never seen one of these!” He folded the bill in half, then seemed unsure what to do with it.
His customer smiled. “I think that’s supposed to go into your wallet!”
“What? How would that work?”
“You open. Your wallet. And put in. The money.” She had gone back to her earlier impression of a brain-addled individual.
He pulled out his phone, tapped his wallet app, and held the bill next to the phone. “Oh wait! Duh, of course!” He held the bill where his phone’s camera could see it. “Um, it’s not working?”
She rolled her eyes. “No, not your phone, your wallet. You know, billfold? The place where you keep your credit cards and membership cards and family photos and such? Your wallet!”
Now it was his turn to view the speaker as intellectually deprived, as he spoke slowly and carefully. “That’s all on my phone, ma’am. That’s where people put things like that… these days. In the twenty-first century, and all.”
“I am quite aware what century this is, young man! And what if you lose your phone? Eh?”
“Oh, I do that all the time! My boyfriend is always having to find it for me. Well, I did really lose it, it went into a wood chipper, long story, but it was all backed up, I just picked up a new phone and everything was still there. Um, what if you lost your, um, old wallet?”
“I never did that!”
“Yes, ma’am. But if you did — ”
She grabbed the bill away from him. “I take it back, you were an awful waiter!”
There seem to be folks who are sure that, some day, after the Commies take down the power grid and the Internet, society will come to its knees as all the EVs sit dead and useless. Meanwhile , the rugged survivalists will hop into their old but reliable IC vehicles and drive over to the ATM to get bunches of cash. Ha! Take THAT, digital electricity loving libtards!
