[Can’t speak for all husbands, everyone is different, your mileage may vary, not valid in New Jersey or Newfoundland — standard boilerplate disclaimers.]

However, Gillian, I will say that when my wife is hurting, I want to be with her. I want to hold her, or at least offer the option. I want to curl up with her while she cries. (“I got snot on your shirt.” “It’s snot, it washes.”) I want to murmer things to her that may not make sense but are said in a loving tone. I want to remind her we are in this together. (I may not know what “this” is—not relevant.) I want to stroke her hair and her shoulders and the small of her back. I want to take her to bed and feel the weight of her body as she tangles up with me. I want to hand her a tissue from our headboard and throw it away after she blows her nose. (“I think you missed.” “I can get it in the morning.”) I want to listen to her breathing get softer and steadier.

Anyway, point is, y’all do y’all, but your hubs may want to share in your bad times. When you’re ready, think about asking him. If you haven’t already.

Written by

Husband & retiree. Developer, tech writer, & IT geek. I fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches. Occasionally do weird & goofy things.

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