Bonnie, I confess I read your post mostly to reconfirm my feelings that dating has NOT gotten any easier in the last 19 years. (And it worked. Thank you for that!)

With both wives (previous and current) I was friends initially, but in both those cases it wasn’t a “let’s be friends and see where it goes,” it was just being friends and (on my part) knowing it wasn’t going anywhere. First wife I thought was gay — wait no, she’s bi? seriously? — nope, actually gay [in her defense, she didn’t know either until after we got married]. Second wife had a photo of her with six kids on her desk at work, so *that* wasn’t happening [they were all nieces & nephews, I found later]. So we actually got to be friends before it occurred to us (okay, me) to make it something more. Alas, I can think of no way to replicate this in real life. :-(

Good luck!

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Husband & retiree. Developer, tech writer, & IT geek. I fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches. Occasionally do weird & goofy things.

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