Bifocals! Ah, yes, I remember bifocals. The good old days. It’s trifocals now, and at this rate by the time I'm retired I’ll have six different graduations and you’ll be able to hear my neck click into place as I adjust for distance.
Wait, I still have a set of bifocals. On my computer glasses. Yes, my stupid, nothing-more-than-twenty-inches-away computer glasses are freaking bifocals.
And then there are times like when I’m getting out of the shower or something and I have my face stark naked and I’m trying to see something better that’s close so I tilt my head back and the freakin’ thing comes into focus. Because thanks, there just aren’t enough mind fucks in the world.
You Gen Xer types, bitching about bifocals. By the time you get to be my age you’ll have auto-correct eyewear that focuses perfectly, turns into sunglasses when the light gets bright or the glasses decide you need to look cool for your date, and indexes photos of everyone you meet so their name pops up when you see them again. Get the hell off my (currently still actual) lawn.