And you don’t have your profile pic with your nice beard because…?

Your beard makes you look more mature. Readers will take your Medium postings much more seriously once they see your beard. Half the women writers on Medium wouldn’t be getting half the crap they are now if their profile pics had beards (okay, only a 25% crap reduction, but still might be worth it). And as an added bonus, once your beard starts turning gray people will be more likely to hold open doors for you and call you sir. In slightly louder voices. And put your receipt in your bag, right in front of you, and then tell you, “I put your receipt. In your bag. Okay?” while making eye contact the whole time and smiling and giving a little nod when they see you understand or at least you understand enough that you aren’t going to ask them where your receipt is because apparently that’s just really frakin’ important to old farts and clerks are just tired of their shit but they can’t show it because then the boss is also like totally frakin’ ancient and gives this whole big lecture on customer service and like WHATEVER DUDE and life is too short so just get the old guy out of the store.

I’m sorry, what was your question?

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Husband & retiree. Developer, tech writer, & IT geek. I fill what’s empty, empty what’s full, and scratch where it itches. Occasionally do weird & goofy things.

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