Alas, Brian, the best relationship advice I can give you is what I tell my nephews: “Whatever you do, don’t take relationship advice from me.”

I was crazy smitten with a woman in college. Our one-and-only date was a disaster. So I kept trying, because: #crazysmitten. Went nowhere, of course. After graduation we went different ways (both Navy officers) but traded letters occasionally. Then I heard she’d been kicked out of the Navy for being gay (this was early 1980s, the dark ages). Which was an “OMG that’s awful!” + “OMG that’s great!” moment (terrible thing to happen to a friend who was dedicated to a Naval career, but at least it wasn’t my fault she rejected me). So I drove half a day to see her, where she told me she hadn’t known she was gay when I was pursuing her. (Oh…)

So what Great Truths did I learn? <sigh> Diddly. I married a different lesbian friend a few years later (we both thought she was bi at the time) and got divorced not long after (we lived together longer while divorced after I became a civilian than we did while married — Navy assignments don’t care if you’re married). I got into a soul-sucking ego-demolishing relationship after that, but hey, she was straight!

Then I happened to run into the love of my life at a new job. Next year we celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary. Biggest success factor? Dumb luck. Totally.

So… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Dumb luck.

Oh, and you can’t mess up any worse than I have, if that’s any consolation? Not so much? Sorry! 😕

Wishing you the best, anyway!