Ah! Yes, Ann!
Many years ago I was part of a singles group that got together every so often for cooking together. I had gotten very comfortable with them, so even after I met Deb I would still join them (I enjoy cooking!).
Then a new member came in. Who delighted in putting me down. My latest cooking effort, my choice of ingredients, the way I held my plate — always an opening for snark. Every. Time.
But my old friends stood up for me! Well, no. They had known her longer. “She does that to everyone.” “Once you get to know her you’ll be fine.” They choose her over me. And get-together a stopped being fun and became things to dread.
Then one day Deb said it was okay if I didn’t go. And I didn’t. Ever. And there was one less thing to fret about in life.