Ah! Deb and I had this, the first couple years of our marriage. Advantage of being married before: you know to avoid the bear traps. Disadvantage: you see bear traps that aren’t there. We had arguments about things (her — how I was handling family finances [Deb’s first husband emptied their bank accounts without telling her]; me — fear of abandonment if I messed up even a little [my first wife started an affair with a woman a month after our marriage]) that were actually things we wish we’d said to previous spouses. Trust was learned, not automatic.