A Song for my Wife

Apologies to Johnny Mathis

I like to come up with silly songs to sing to my wife after we go to bed or while we’re walking along or just because. Alas, I have no singing ability in the slightest (two wives will confirm this)—I’m mildly tone deaf and can’t carry a tune in a bucket. And usually I forget the verses immediately after, but this one stuck, so, to the (vaguely similar) tune of “The Twelfth of Never” last night I sang to my lady:

You ask how much I love you?
Must I reply?
I love you more than song birds
All love the sky,

I love you more than horse flies
Love their horse poo;
And while I’m on the subject,
I sure as shit love you!

Alas, I was doing this while giving Deb a back and glute rub to help with some pulled muscles, and she started shaking so much that it was hard to continue the rub for a little bit. Afterward she thanked me and said she felt better, and I said, “Because of the massage and the song, right?”

Long pause. Her lower lip slowly is sucked into her mouth, but she eventually opens her mouth to say, “Yes. Yes, honey. That was it. That was completely it.” Then she turned away to conceal her deep emotion, but I could see her shoulders shaking again.

Anyway, my point is, a spouse can offer wonderfully romantic lyrical additions to the relationship without necessarily being overly talented in that particular direction.

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